Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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