Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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