Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
