is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dignity is for republicans.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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