$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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