If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
