i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
