is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
PANTIES FOUND
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