yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The Olympian is in my bed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
