scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
