Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
