you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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