She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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