so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
