hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
