I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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