i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
