a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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