Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
