we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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