He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
