if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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