He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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