we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
