come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
