My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
