Sponge bath it is.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.