put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories