This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
