so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
