did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
