Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
