Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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