ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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