craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
