Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
