I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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