Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
