Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
