The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize