even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
