I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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