Do you still have your period?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
