But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
