and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
