And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
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i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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