if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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