Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize