saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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