I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
