Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
