They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
