The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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