I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize