How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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