so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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