Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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